Love demands expression. It will not stay silent. be good, be modest, be seen and not heard, no. It will break out in tongues of praise, the high note that smashes the glass and spills the liquid. It is no conservationist love. It is a big game hunter and you are the game. A curse on this game. How can you stick at a game when the rules keep changing? I shall call myself Alice and play croquet with the flamingoes. In Wonderland everyone cheats and love is Wonderland isn't it? Love makes the world go round. Love is blind. All you need is love. Nobody ever died of a broken heart. You'll get over it. It'll be different when we're married. Think of the children. Time's a great healer. Still waiting for Mr Right? Miss Right? and maybe all the little Rights?
It's the cliches that cause the trouble. A precise emotion seeks a precise expression. If what I feel is not precise then should I call it love? It is so terrifying, love, that all I can do is shove it under a dump bin of pink cuddly toys and send myself a greetings card saying 'Congratulations on your Engagement'. But I am not engaged I am deeply distracted. I am desperately looking the other way so that love won't see me. I want the diluted version, the sloppy language, the insignificant gestures. The saggy armchair of cliches. It's alright, millions of bottoms have sat here before me. The springs are well worn, the fabric smelly and familiar. I don't have to be frightened, look, my grandma and grandad did it, he in a stiff collar and club tie, she in white muslin straining a little at the life beneath. They did it, my parents did it, now I will do it won't I, arms outstretched, not to hold you, just to keep my balance, sleepwalking to that armchair.




So yeah, I've been gone a while. Mostly due to insane writer's block, which i'm half way to conquering. I've got 3 half finished poems that i'm now determined to finish and i've also started a drawing that i may put up i dunno.
College isn't too bad. Had to have 3 days off coz of a stomach bug and all my teacher's emailed my form tutor saying they were concerned about my atendance but apart from that all good.
Had the leaver's concert on friday which was, once again, the best concert we've done all year. It's annoying coz it really is an amazing concert but it's always the one the least amount of people come to >.<
Anyway i'm gona go and attempt to finish my maths homework. Anyone that knows about functions and mapping of x, your help would be greatly appriciated

Much love
C
x x x